


the way i love, the way i

by wintercrystale



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Wonwoo having tons of feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:40:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23947813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wintercrystale/pseuds/wintercrystale
Summary: Wonwoo has forgotten the premise of how he let himself be a victim of a certain Wen Junhui's charm, warm touches, and blinding smile.Wonwoo has also long forgotten that he's not supposed to fall in love with Junhui, no matter how many times the man has uttered a faintly whispered "I love you" to him and hold his hand so tightly in front of their oblivious friends.
Relationships: Jeon Wonwoo/Wen Jun Hui | Jun
Comments: 20
Kudos: 66





	the way i love, the way i

**Author's Note:**

> first wonhui fic!!! ditched my assignments for this for no reason other than just i want to... write it... idek how the idea even striked but oh well. i have jun's cover on repeat and i have many life regrets but this is not one of them.
> 
> title taken from seventeen's fear. enjoy💕

Wonwoo had forgotten the premise of how he let himself be a victim of a certain Wen Junhui's charm, warm touches, and blinding smile. He had also long forgotten that he's not supposed to fall in love with Junhui, no matter how many times Junhui had uttered a faintly whispered "I love you" to him and held his hand in front of their oblivious friends.

To the world, Junhui and Wonwoo were in love with each other. To Junhui, everything was a carefully stacked lie piled on top of one another. To Wonwoo, Junhui was the one who hung the stars in his night sky.

It had started with Junhui pleading to Wonwoo about how he needed to get rid of _'these people that just wouldn't stop pestering me because I'm single as a pringle'_ and Junhui just wanted to focus on his study and graduate soon. Wonwoo had rolled his eyes and agreed under the condition of Junhui having to buy him lunch for the whole semester—which was their initial duration of building up this whole lie. It was a good deal, so Junhui had agreed.

When they'd told their friends about this, their reactions were unexpected.

_“Jun finally realized his feelings for you?” was the first thing Soonyoung said to Wonwoo in private after dragging him away from the commotion of eleven other boys hooting at the newly formed ‘relationship’._

_Wonwoo wanted to ask Soonyoung what the hell he was talking about, but he couldn't afford to blow the cover so soon, so he just said, “Yeah, he manned up and confessed to me.”_

_To which Soonyoung let out a sigh of relief and a soft smile. “Just tell me if he does anything to mess with your heart. I won't hesitate to karate kick him down.”_

_The thought of people actually thinking it was real threw Wonwoo off-kilter and he couldn’t stop thinking about it whenever he’s looking into Junhui’s eyes._

The one thing Wonwoo realized was that this _thing_ didn’t exactly differ much from actual dating and Junhui did have to take him to dates sometimes—to make it believable. What happened to Junhui wanting to focus on his study? Especially when Wonwoo knew Junhui spent most of his Saturday nights cuddled up to Wonwoo on the sofa—in his shared flat with Jihoon and Soonyoung—watching Netflix series and _always_ ending up sleeping on Wonwoo's lap.

“Baby, anything on your mind?”

The tug on Wonwoo's sweater sleeve prompted him to look to his side and find Junhui there, the soft upturn of his lips showing an oddly fond smile and his eyebrow raising just slightly to show his curiosity.

They were in the middle of a party Jeonghan threw to celebrate his graduation along with Seungcheol and Joshua’s. The neon lights were starting to dim and the music slowed to a halt as Jeonghan held a mic to his lips to say something. Knowing their friends, if it weren’t some kind of corny graduation speech, someone would’ve thrown popcorn at Jeonghan right before Jeonghan even started anything. But knowing that the three elders have struggled their way through university and how everyone actually knew how hard it was, everyone actually stopped their beer pong and shitty dancing to listen.

In the midst of the dim light, Wonwoo only noticed Junhui’s twinkling eyes directed at him.

“Yeah, no. Just thinking about how it’s soon our turn to be seniors.” It’s not fully a lie, though Wonwoo’s mind was more focused on the warmth of Junhui’s arm on his waist rather than anything. “Things will be hectic.”

“We still have one more summer to spend before that.” Junhui smiled. “But then...”

The look on Junhui’s face seemed troubled—Wonwoo barely noticed—as he pulled Wonwoo closer and rested his chin on Wonwoo’s shoulder, his other arm coming to wrap itself around Wonwoo’s waist, successfully caging the slightly younger man in his hold.

Wonwoo would love to cry from the comfort or kick Junhui or both; either way, he couldn’t do anything right now because Junhui was behind him and the scent of musk and vanilla had never felt so intoxicating to Wonwoo.

“Maybe we can end this charade before senior year starts.”

Wonwoo prayed to the God he believed in that Junhui hadn’t felt him tensing from the words.

The two saw Jeonghan smiling, stopping for a second before Seungcheol laughed and wiped away a stray tear that managed to escape Jeonghan’s eyes. Jeonghan looked at Seungcheol gratefully, before proceeding to burst into a crying mess instead. Seungcheol didn’t hesitate to swoop in and cradle Jeonghan in his hold.

Wonwoo wished he had that kind of reality with Junhui.

“Why?” and Wonwoo’s voice was barely a whisper, serving as a remembrance that the world around them hadn’t stopped spinning and someone could still hear their hushed conversation.

“My initial end goal was to get everyone off my back so I can study in peace, right?” Junhui’s jaw moved against Wonwoo’s shoulder in a motion that tickled Wonwoo. “I mean, seeing that it has worked thus far and people will most likely believe me if I say I want to focus on my senior year, this will no longer be necessary.”

The careful thread of words hurt Wonwoo more than it’s supposed to. It had been, what, a whole semester ever since Wonwoo had fallen for Junhui? It had also been one semester overdue of their initial deal and Junhui still diligently brought him lunch everyday as payment that doubled as their act of being disgustingly in love.

This was a mistake.

It would’ve been easier to let this whole act go if Wonwoo hadn’t fallen too deep. It would’ve been easier had they not shared embraces like they’re trying to protect each other from the whirlwind of life; would’ve been easier had they not still acted like friends when it’s only the two of them around, hurling insults at each other and smacking each other’s face with a pillow in an impromptu fight initiated by accidental acts of violence.

It also would’ve been easier if Junhui didn’t kiss Wonwoo behind closed doors; in which Junhui always did, claiming it to be a _habit_ of their day to day act. But Wonwoo wanted to accuse Junhui of falling for him too, because he knew Junhui kissed his forehead when he thought Wonwoo was sleeping and he _knew_ Junhui spoke of Wonwoo like his gravity that kept Junhui grounded and sane all this time.

 _‘Why?’_ Wonwoo wanted to ask, but the small word got stuck at the tip of his tongue and the only thing he could utter was a mere, “Okay.”

Junhui shuffled behind Wonwoo and Wonwoo really decided to turn at that time to look at Junhui. Their faces were _close_. Closer than Wonwoo remembered they usually were, even if Junhui loved giving him little nose kisses whenever their friends were around. The side of their faces touched and Wonwoo could barely make out a small smile on Junhui’s lips as the latter decidedly wanted to avoid looking back.

“Did you just say ‘okay’?” Junhui pinched the side of Wonwoo’s waist, causing the latter to yelp and slap Junhui’s arm that was still stubbornly holding him. “How are we going to tell our friends and act like nothing ever happened between us?”

“I can tell Soonyoung that you’re actually an asshole and he’ll be out for your blood.”

Junhui gasped dramatically. “You wouldn’t.”

“You know me, I would.”

The three seniors had finished their own speeches, albeit now Jeonghan wasn’t the only one bawling because they had to let some things go and grow up. Joshua had his head resting on Jeonghan’s shoulder and Seungcheol had his extended arm wrapped around the two.

After a loud set of claps across the room and some whistling, the party came back to life in full swing.

“Or.” The arms on Wonwoo’s waist slipped away as his own body warmth started to seep away through the empty air around him. Then, before long, he found himself face to face with Junhui.

Junhui’s fingers were just as warm against Wonwoo’s forehead, brushing away the bangs that started to obstruct Wonwoo’s vision. It’s alarming to see and _feel_ Junhui so close, treading the space between them as if they’re actually something more than just a laughable lie.

“We can pretend things don’t work out anymore and we can still be friends.” Junhui leaned in to press his lips against Wonwoo’s forehead, but not quite kissing it.

For the nth time, Wonwoo wished the flutter in his stomach would go away because they didn’t belong there. Junhui was a goddamn actor and he’s entirely _too_ good at acting. Whatever Wonwoo felt towards Junhui’s endearing smile and equally endearing pet names—along with his whines and lingering touches and stupid laugh and random invitations to raid chicken nuggets from McDonald’s at ass o’clock in the morning—shouldn’t have a place in his heart.

Because Wonwoo knew even behind closed doors and under the witness of the night sky, Junhui’s heart couldn’t be his.

Junhui reached for Wonwoo’s arms and proceeded to rest them on his own shoulder. On reflex, Wonwoo just tightened his hold around Junhui’s neck and hated himself for it. It was like a habit; Wonwoo wouldn’t be able to blame Junhui anymore for singing him lullabies and stroking his hair to sleep when there were no prying eyes. It was a _habit_. It’s hard to get rid of when you’re already too good at playing it for almost _a year_.

“Will they even believe it?” Wonwoo stared at Junhui’s eyes, remembering how he used to think it was hilarious that they were the same height, now he’s just grateful because he couldn’t be closer than he already was to this man.

Junhui hummed. At that point Wonwoo knew he wasn’t even paying attention to his surroundings. It’s just him and Junhui, and he wished it could be like that for a long time.

“Shouldn’t they?” Junhui said finally, opening his eyes to look at Wonwoo again, arms slipping back around Wonwoo’s waist as if they belonged there and Wonwoo was burning to the core.

“We might need another plan to make it believable.”

“You’ve been good at faking a love that’s never there.” Junhui smiled lopsidedly. “You should be fine faking a heartbreak.”

Except Wonwoo had stopped pretending a long time ago.

If Jihoon grinned and told Wonwoo he was in love, that was true. If Seungkwan gagged while pointing out that Wonwoo stared at Junhui like there was no one else, that was true. If Junhui fake teased Wonwoo saying he’s whipped, it’s accurate.

Wonwoo hummed. “Maybe.”

“But we can put this matter away for later.” Junhui moved to cup Wonwoo’s cheeks and proceeded to leave a kiss on the corner of his lips.

Not quite on the lips; Junhui never kissed him on the lips. Wonwoo would love to find out how it would feel like to kiss Wen Junhui where it would mean the most, but even his little endearing kisses across his face was enough to make Wonwoo melt.

“Ugh, they’re so in love with each other.”

Wonwoo was startled when he heard the voice coming from the loveseat beside them. His hold on Junhui’s neck loosened, but Junhui took Wonwoo’s hand and intertwined their fingers together.

There was Soonyoung sprawled on the loveseat beside an almost drunk Seokmin, cheek resting against his fist as he stared at the ‘lovebirds’ unamusedly. When Soonyoung saw the intertwined fingers, he scowled. Seokmin only giggled beside him.

“We get it, it’s almost one year since you first announced this relationship.” Soonyoung grinned. “We thought you would’ve been tired of each other by now.”

“How could I when Wonwoo is the best thing that has ever happened to me?” Junhui tightened his grasp.

_God, how Wonwoo wished those words were true._

But it ached, still, because Wonwoo knew he’s just another meaningless constant to Junhui. Wonwoo was just someone whose orbit was cut off by Junhui and now he’s just revolving around the latter, lingering there, having no intentions to leave.

“That is grossly adorable,” Seokmin slurred his speech and flashed a dorky grin.

Junhui cackled, an ugly faux-condescending laugh that Wonwoo still somehow found endearing. “Don’t worry guys, you’ll find someone you can love too someday.”

When Junhui pulled Wonwoo’s chin to land a kiss on his forehead, Wonwoo had no energy left to be surprised anymore. Junhui got extra touchy when they’re in front of a distinct crowd.

Seokmin screeched as Soonyoung cringed. “Get a room!”

“Sure, I was thinking of taking Wonwoo home now anyway.”

Wonwoo raised an eyebrow and looked at Junhui. He knew very well that he didn’t like staying at parties past midnight, but to think that Junhui paid attention to that? Wonwoo would like to think that Junhui was being a good friend, but how he wished that this friend could be a lover, because Wonwoo would love to wake up to Junhui’s peaceful sleeping face without the pretense of everything being fake.

It’s like Wonwoo wasn’t sure what was real anymore. Perhaps the sun rising and setting across the horizon was just a ploy and not even an actual star burning some ways away from Earth; because Wonwoo was sure said sun shone a little bit brighter when Junhui was smiling. The only thing Wonwoo could trust to be real was his still beating heart.

“I will make sure to tell Mingyu not to go home then.” Soonyoung waggled his eyebrows playfully, inviting a grin from Junhui and a roll of eyes from Wonwoo.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be back as soon as Wonwoo’s safe to his doorstep.”

Soonyoung waved. “Take care, then.”

Then, Junhui turned to look at Wonwoo and tugged at him to follow. They bid their goodbyes to the three graduating seniors, exchanging hugs and promises to still hangout; to which Joshua said that they’d still be around to take care of graduation stuff.

They took their leave with Junhui’s hand resting against the small of Wonwoo’s back.

When they’re away from everyone and left to their own devices, Junhui’s hold didn’t falter. If anything, Wonwoo only felt cold now. To think that one day someone would be walking home with Junhui like this, Junhui’s hand resting on their back so casually as they exchanged loving banters, and everything would be _real_ ; Wonwoo couldn’t be more bitter.

How did it feel like, having to leave the prince when the clock struck twelve? To know that some things weren’t as real as others? That sometimes the things Wonwoo wished he could tell the world, he just couldn’t?

Because he shouldn’t be allowed to bask in Junhui’s perfect act of showing affection.

And Wonwoo still believed he had _some_ chance when they stood at Wonwoo’s doorstep, staring at each other like there’s nothing better to do. To Wonwoo, there really wasn’t.

Junhui ran his hand through his hair in the way that Wonwoo had fallen for time and time again. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then?”

And their goodbyes were always a ‘see you tomorrow’ because they knew they’d spend everyday with each other, the same way they did when they were just normal friends, except Wonwoo was hiding a secret in the form of feelings now.

“Yeah, of course.” Wonwoo fidgeted, his heart unable to bear the feeling alone anymore.

Wonwoo wanted to let Junhui know that he _felt_ what he’s not supposed to. He wanted Junhui to know how much his smile affected Wonwoo’s heart and he wanted Junhui to know that if he decided he wanted Wonwoo to be his for real, his love wouldn’t go to waste. Because Wonwoo would cherish it, the way he cherished Junhui’s mocking texts of _‘good night and sleep tight, sweetheart’_ every now and then.

Wonwoo saw his chance in the form of a Mingyu walking towards them. So he grabbed Junhui’s arm and braced himself for the following words.

“I love you,” Wonwoo said, loud and clear—his heart beating so fast in his chest he wondered if Junhui was able to tell that it was real.

The look of surprise on Junhui didn’t escape Wonwoo’s vision.

“Wonwoo…?” Junhui started, baffled by the sudden surfacing of those cursed string of three words.

But before Junhui could say anything, Wonwoo tiptoed and kissed Junhui on the forehead. The smile Wonwoo offered afterwards was sweet, Junhui wanted to comment on it. Before he could do so, though, a voice interrupted them.

“I can crash at Soonyoung’s if Junhui wants to stay the night,” Mingyu said, turning the two’s attention towards him and Junhui immediately realized that Wonwoo probably only did that to make things believable.

If Wonwoo thought he saw the light leaving Junhui’s eyes, he deemed himself hallucinating.

“No, Jun is just leaving.” Wonwoo clucked his tongue and flicked Junhui’s forehead. “Right, Jun?”

“Of course, Princess.” Junhui laughed his usual charming laugh, hands immediately pulling Wonwoo’s arms and crashing them both into a hug that left Wonwoo breathless—from the impact, mind you.

When Wonwoo started hitting Junhui’s chest, the latter took it as a hint to let go. Junhui did, lingering there with a smile before taking Wonwoo’s hand and kissing the back of it.

The bitterness came back to Wonwoo’s tongue at the thought of Junhui doing it out of _love_ in a _real_ relationship with someone he actually adored.

Junhui let Wonwoo’s hand go slowly before turning on his heels to leave. “See you around, Mingyu.”

Mingyu nodded his goodbye.

The way Wonwoo stared at Junhui’s retreating back, Mingyu didn’t need a third eye to see that Wonwoo was truly in love. Junhui told him it’s great acting; their friends thought Wonwoo was in love. Wonwoo had never wanted Junhui to be right _this_ bad.

“Come on, it’s getting cold outside.”

For now, maybe Wonwoo could keep everything to himself.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading it!💕 if you ever want to be my friend, hmu on [twitter](https://twitter.com/wintercrystale) or yell at me on [cc](https://curiouscat.me/wintercrystale)!


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